In my line of work, I meet a lot of women, and that’s not so surprising 😉

And I also meet a lot of men. It’s a surprise to me that so many of the men I meet these days feel very lost and alone when it comes to relationships.They consciously desire a passionate connection with a woman but they find it difficult to connect.

What contributes to the modern-day man to feel lost and unable to find a connection?

There are some external factors – financial uncertainty, instability and competition in the workplace. Peel back this outer layer and you have unhappy families, high divorce rates.

What these men also seem to have in common is a strong desire to succeed in their careers, which allows very little time for socialising. So, unless they are very lucky and able to pull off a discrete relationship at work, many of them are spending their weekends at the gym, or the pub hanging out with the guys.

There’s another little surprising factor – since the modern woman is much stronger and independent than previous generations, men seem to have created misconceptions about what they need to do to attract that special woman.

The men I talk to believe that beautiful women desire a successful man with a muscular body. So they focus on their outer person and commit themselves to furthering their careers, building their wealth, strengthening their bodies, the best course of action to attract that special person.

Women, on the other hand, see the situation very differently. They believe that today’s men are either emotionally unavailable or much too passive and easy to boss around.

Although it is true that the modern woman is strong, independent and capable in the workplace they also truly desire an open-hearted, strong man who’ll care enough to stand up for them and to them. Only in this way can she feel truly safe to give over to her man and become nurturing, feminine and passionate in a relationship. This is what a woman craves at the deepest level.

One way to look at this blind spot or misunderstanding between the sexes is that the “men’s movement” still has not caught up to the “feminist movement.”

What modern men still haven’t learned is how to be strong, productive in the outer world but open-hearted and vulnerable in their interpersonal relationships. Especially with their woman. How can a man achieve this wonderful balance?

I’m going to leave that special lesson for next time.

Lead from your heart,
Robert